I Ain’t Got no Satisfaction

What is the correlation between satisfaction and expectations? Often we create expectations that are impossible to meet and then feel dissatisfied when these expectations aren’t met. Sometimes the expectation we create in our mind is so exaggerated that reality can never quite meet the same level of intensity that our mind has created. Other times, we lower our expectations and then enjoy the surprise when the event exceeds what we thought it would be. However, some feel that altering your expectations is the equivalent of settling. Others fool themselves and pretend to be satisfied when they truly aren’t.

What are the expectations you set for yourself verses those you set for others? Why is it that we are willing to give other’s the benefit of the doubt, yet when it comes to ourselves, we immediately judge?

What does being satisfied mean to you? Is it possible that being “good enough” is enough?

For information on Los Angeles Family Therapy visit http://www.losangelesfamilytherapy.com/

No Excuses Tips for Taking a Little Vacation

Everyone needs a break, some time away, something that pulls us away from the day-to-day. A self-described work-lover myself (workaholic is so harsh! :)) I seldom find the time or resources to get away. I.e. "Why would I spend money on a vacation when I can use that money to build a website?...the website would be more fun anyway..." You get the point.

It wasn't until I was watching the sunset over the beach this weekend that I realized how much I needed it. And upon researching the topic it turns out we all need it. Dr. Mailika Marshall says "Several studies have suggested over the years that people who take vacations on a regular basis have lower rates of stress and therefore are at lower risk for some of these health problems."


So let's break down the excuses- 
"I don't have the time"- Even getting away for a night can feel refreshing. Sometimes just the motion of packing an overnight bag can signal to the brain that it's vacation time. Make sure that you go somewhere different than what's around you...if you live in the city go to the beach, if you live by the beach go to wine country, etc. Seeing something new will also signal a break from the stresses of home.


"I don't have the money"- If money is tight check out weekday deals or deal websites like www.livingsocial.com. If money is SUPER tight see about staying with an out-of-town friend. One reader writes, "I live in Hollywood and my sister lives by the beach. We'll trade weekends every so often. She loves the new restaurants and shows and I get to relax out of the city". If you don't have an out-of-town friend look for apt-swaps. 


"I don't have anyone to go with"- Vacationing can be difficult when single. Or maybe you have time-off but your partner doesn't. Enlist friends and family. A weekend away is a great way to catch up with friends, or give your mom that spa day she's wanted. For longer vacations there are single's travels groups.  And although it's not for everyone...a night away by yourself might not be a bad idea. A close friend took herself on a solo weekend trip and came back raving about it- massages, pool-time, a nice dinner, and peace and quiet. 


However you swing it, incorporating vacations or getaways (big or small) can leave you feeling refreshed, adventurous, invigorated and is beneficial for mental and physical health.


www.losangelesfamilytherapy.com

Hypnosis and Therapy!

Many people who have seen others being hypnotized on television or maybe even on-stage wonder if it is pretend or real. The truth is that Hypnosis is just like the state you are in when you have been driving a car for a long distance. That feeling where you may not be taking everything in and your main focus is the road rather than unimportant details. In that “alpha” state you would still be able to react if something were to happen that required your attention. In addition, you would be able to begin noticing all of the little details missing, anytime you chose.

A very important aspect of hypnosis is that is not necessary to be in some sort of an otherworldly trance. Rather, it is a natural state which everyone moves in and out of throughout each day. Although most people aren’t aware of it, many of our everyday normal activities are actually performed under hypnosis. You may be aware of everything I say during the session and that’s OK because you are still in hypnosis.  Another good example of a hypnotic state is playing video games. People who are playing video games can often become focused on what they are doing, yet they can intelligently answer the phone when it rings.

Alpha, or the lightest state of hypnosis, and can be easily achieved. People achieve this state every day, many times a day. Examples of times when people are in this state include watching TV, reading a good book, playing video games, and, even driving. In this state you're up to 200 times more suggestible than when you are fully awake. The state where you are full awake is known as the Beta state. In the alpha state, your mind is slowed down just a little, focus is narrow, breathing is slow, and you are relaxed. People often misunderstand what being hypnotized means and feel that they cannot be hypnotized when in reality most people experience being in the Alpha state during many daily activities. In addition, you also don’t have to worry if you fall asleep during hypnosis.  It has been discovered by several research groups that hearing acts like a surveillance camera. Although eyes can close, ears cannot close. Because they always remain open,  information is constantly coming in.

What are your thoughts on being hypnotized as a part of therapy? For more information check out Los Angeles Family Therapy at http://www.losangelesfamilytherapy.com/

Reunions: Who Were You in High School?

How far have we really come from who we were in high school? No matter what we achieve in life, it can still be very hard to get away from the people we were in our youth. For many of us, the emotions and insecurities that we thought we had left behind follow us. These feelings can resurface when we are faced with high school reunions or family reunions. Some people have an overwhelming desire to prove something or to show how far they have come. Others just feel an anxiety over the prospect of having their lives judged by the people they once knew. People who had traumatic experiences in their youth may even become re-traumatized on revisiting those emotions.

Instead of pretending we are not affected by these emotions, there can be value in acknowledging them and facing our fears. By examining the roots of these emotions, we can gain the insight needed to embrace the people we once were instead of trying to compensate for who we were not.

For more information on Los Angeles Family Therapy please visit http://www.losangelesfamilytherapy.com/

Therapy Humor

A group of therapists go to a conference in Aspen. After the conference they decide to try their hand at skiing. They all decide to take a lesson with a local ski instructor. After a long and grueling day on the slope, the instructor looks to his co-worker and say, "my God, I've never seen so many Freudians slip".

Hahaha!

Brought to you by: www.losangelesfamilytherapy.com :)

What Does Your Personality Say About You?

In today’s competitive work environment, many businesses and some schools now require their candidates to take personality assessments and/ or career assessments as a part of their interviewing process. These results can help or harm a candidate’s chance of getting the job however they may never know what came between them and their dream job. Knowing what you get and how you score it might even help in choosing an appropriate career fit. Some examples of their tests include but are not limited to Kolby Career Inventory, Myers-Briggs Test, and Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory also commonly known as the MMPI.

For more articles on personality tests check out

Myers-Briggs and Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Tests Are Used in Family Therapy - WSJ.com

For more information on where to take personality tests and/or career assessments contact Los Angeles Family Therapy by visiting  http://www.losangelesfamilytherapy.com/

Katie Tyler talks to local schools about bullying

Los Angeles Family Therapy's Katie Tyler is taking her message to the community! Inspired by the increase in school bullying and the dynamics of how to decrease it, Katie Tyler emailed local schools and asked to speak to the students and teaching staff about this important issue.

 

Her first presentation is going to be on April 25th at The Blair Middle School in Pasadena. 

 

If your student is bullying or being bullied and you would like more information, or would like a consultation or appointment with Katie Tyler please contact

http://www.losangelesfamilytherapy.com/